Friday, September 29, 2006

The Top Ten Thoughts on Being Grateful

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
--John Fitzgerald Kennedy


One of the most important ways to be grateful is to let your actions reflect your gratitude. Many people are quick to express gratitude but are slow to live a life of gratitude. The old saying, “I can’t hear what your saying because your actions are louder than your words” is true.

Many times our actions expose our attitude of entitlement and we wait for things to be done for us rather than for us to be the agent of change and grace. Take a little time to reflect on your life and see if you need to be putting more action to your gratitude. If you really appreciate someone in your life, go to them and serve them.

Let's be grateful for those who give us happiness; they are the charming gardeners who make our soul bloom.
--Marcel Proust


Have you taken the time lately to write down those people in your life who have contributed to where you are? The Sunday School teachers and schoolteachers, your coaches from High School, your parents and grandparents, your pastor or youth minister. All these people may have played a part in where you are today. Thank them.

There are also people who are presently in our life that are adding to our happiness. Your wife or husband, your children, coworkers and friends are all part of the joy of your present life. Tell them how they have made your soul bloom.

The debt of gratitude we owe our mother and father goes forward, not backward. What we owe our parents is the bill presented to us by our children.
--Nancy Friday


Children are a gift from God and with that gift comes a tremendous amount of responsibility. Grandchildren are the prizes of being a parent and when we do a faithful job in our parenting it blesses our parents by letting them know that all the years they invested in us have not gone to waste. They can see that their time on earth will be perpetuated through another generation.

Nothing could be more horrifying than to think you have left the world a worse place than you found it. All of you, who are parents of young ones, show your gratitude to the previous generation by committing yourself to being the best parent you can be.

Help them learn to honor the gifts and sacrifices of their grandparents and express that gratitude with time and attention. Bless them with your love.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it
--William Arthur Ward


One of my favorite scenes in a movie is in Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase. Chevy Chase gets stuck in the attic and finds all the old wrapped presents that were never given away. These were hidden gifts that were tucked away and soon forgotten about.

Search through the attic of your heart and see if there are any wrapped but unspoken blessings in your life. Think back over the past year and try to remember all things that you are grateful for and then ask, “Have I expressed that gratitude.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
~ Melody Beattie ~


We have talked about the importance of being grateful for the persons in our life and expressing that gratitude. Now I want to encourage you to make a list of the things in your life you are grateful for. Let’s face it, even though we live in the poorest state in the union, we are still very well off.

Look around and count your material blessings. I know there are always those who have more, but don’t focus on their stuff, that is coveting. Count your many blessings and name them. As you do that it will help you see that what you have is more than enough and may spur you on to give some of your abundance away to bless someone less fortunate.

"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."
~ Epictetus ~


Here comes the hard part, take some time to reflect on those areas in other peoples’ life where you have coveted and resented their blessings. Confess your lack of joy for their good fortune and say a word of blessing and thanksgiving for their life the way it is.

God’s world is an abundant world and for someone else to have much doesn’t mean it came at your expense. They may have what they do because they have worked hard and blessed many others. Also, pray for them. I have seen many people who had far more material wealth than I, but had far less joy and many more complications. Pray for them, bless them and rejoice in their good fortune.

"A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world."
~ Joseph Addison ~


How do you practice contentment? I think we do so by having a loose grip on our possessions. When we hold tightly to our loot and things we begin to have the false notion that our security is bound up in possessions. God is our security and strength and we need to practice the discipline of holding loosely to material wealth.

Go through your house this weekend and open up your closets and look for the things you have not used in a year. Pull the unworn clothes out, set aside electronic devices, tucked away pieces of furniture and toys that haven’t been played with and give them away! There are plenty of people who are in need, and even if you are in need, there are things in your life you don’t use. Give them away. This will help you practice contentment.


"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
~ Cicero ~


Gratitude has as its root, grace. Grace is ever present from our Lord and He wants us to participate in His grace. Not just as receivers but as givers. When we express gratitude it leads to love and love leads to joy and joy to peace and peace to patience and patience goodness and to patience kindness and from kindness comes self-control.

To receive and give grace opens our lives to receive and give away the fruit of the Spirit. Let practiced gratitude give birth to many great virtues.

"True thanksgiving means that we need to thank God for what He has done for us, and not to tell Him what we have done for Him."
~ George R. Hendrick ~


Its funny how we at times think God couldn’t do without us. How he needs us to pull off His great plan. We need to be reminded that the Scriptures tell us, if we won’t participate, the rocks will do it for us. God is not at our mercy; we are at His.

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Ten Principles of Successful Marriages

1. The common welfare of the marriage should come first. Personal fulfillment depends upon marital unity. (WE vs. ME)

2. For our marriage’s purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our joint understanding. The husband leads as a trusted servant; he does not rule.

3. The only requirement of each spouse is a desire to have a successful marriage.

4. Our marriage should be autonomous except in matters affecting other marriages as a whole.

5. Our marriage has but one primary purpose – to minister to our family and others around us.

6. Our marriage will never over-extend ourselves in work, finances or acquiring possessions that would divert our attention from our primary purpose.

7. Our marriage will work to become fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. We will not take the role of “fixer” of our spouse but will seek to grow personally and if needed seek professional help.

9. With integrity, we seek to maintain a good name for our spouse and our children.

10. Confidentiality, trust and love are the spiritual foundation of our Principles, ever reminding us to place “WE” before “ME”.

**Based on the Twelve Traditions of A.A.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Creative Discipline

What do you do when your daughters leave their room messy? Give them a CD of Pop Daddy!

Listen

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Help, I Have a Teenager!

Here is a free E-book I wrote called "Help, I Have a Teenager!" You can download the book and pass it on!

I hope it helps!

Download Here!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Be Who You Are, Not Who You're Not.

Growing up in a large church with a dynamic pastor had a huge impact on me. It shaped the way I understood ministry and for the longest time shaped the way I viewed my path as someone called into the ministry.

When I sensed God was calling me into the ministry, the only thing I could envision was being a preacher in a big church - wearing dark suits, red ties, and wielding a floppy Bible that I could hold up while making life-changing declarations from "the Word".

While in graduate school working on my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy (a short detour before I was to head to Ft. Worth for my real preacher's degree), I discovered my true passion, gifts and calling. I was perfectly suited to walk with people through the challenges of their life in a counseling room.

I remember talking with God and saying, "I'm more than willing to be a preacher but I'm not convinced that is what you want me to do with my life. I'm going to follow my passion and gifts and if you want me to preach please let me know."

For sixteen years that has been my path of ministry. This week I will spend over thirty hours intimately walking with people through the challenges and trials of life trying to find the love of God in the midst of struggles and to somehow experience a life change.

Maybe you have had similar experiences. You tried to fit yourself into a mold of someone else's making and it just didn't fit. You found that being someone you're not drains the life from you instead of filling you with life.

Some of you are still working in jobs or careers that don't fit with who you are. You're trapped in roles that someone else guilted you into taking on and are constantly looking for an excuse to not show up.

You are not alone and God is not silent on the subject.

In the book of Galatians (chapter 6:4-5), Paul the writer said:

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

What blows my mind is that God actually wants us to operate within the passion and work that he has designed us for. When living within the zone of our calling, we find we are living a life of fulfillment not drain. (Yes, you will get tired but that is different than having the life sucked out of you.)

So how can you discover how to be who you are and not who you're not?

I find this question helps in the exploration of your calling:

"If failure wasn't a possibility and money wasn't an issue what would you do with your life?"

Take some time to dream and wrestle with that question (and the answers) and find the courage to step out and follow your path. You are worth it!

Be who you are, not who you're not!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Shame on You!

I’ll never forget the assignment my professor gave us in graduate school. “Take out a piece of paper and without putting your name on it, write down the thing you fear the most.” My first inclination was to blow off the paper and write something like spiders, snakes or a bad hangnail. But something inside of me stirred and I decided to get real and when that happened, boy did I get real… real scared!

I was convinced that when I recorded my greatest fear, and the professor read it aloud, everyone in the class would turn, point at me and say, “We knew it! Simpson is a poser.” What did I write? I’ll never forget it, “I’m afraid of being transparent; like a glass of clear water through which people can see.”

I folded my paper, took a deep breath and passed it to the end of the row. As the professor began to read the fears and phobias, wouldn’t you know it, the first one he read was mine… except, I hadn’t written it. It sounded like mine, the gist was the same, but the words were different. And then he read another and another and before I knew it, I realized that eighty-percent of the class had the same fear. By the time my paper was read aloud, I was raising my hand and owning my fear, no longer hiding, actually being transparent.

What that lesson taught me is that there is a powerful germ at work in all people. It is called shame. Shame in itself is not bad. It is harmful when it becomes toxic. Healthy shame keeps our clothes on in public. It reminds us we have limits and tells us we are not God. Toxic shame, however, condemns us for our limitations and tells us we are disgusting, unacceptable and unlovable in our present state. This kind of shame demands perfection and superior performance in order to be acceptable.

Shame is not something newly introduced by psychobabblers of the last half century. Shame is as old as human history. Think back to the Garden of Eden when the serpent slithered into Adam and Eve’s life. “Look at you, you’re disgusting!” it said. “You have limitations and everyone knows that you should not. You should be like God.” Swallowing shame’s lie, Adam and Eve bit off more than they could chew and took matters into their own hands trying to fix their perceived “shameful” condition. It did not work! Instead of experiencing relief, they experienced anxiety which sent them running, hiding and creating temporary coverings made of fig leaves.

Ever since that day, we have all struggled with the effects of shame, and like Adam and Eve, we have all hidden and created elaborate fig leaf designs to hide our shame.

One hides behind their work performance. Someone else attempts to “become” by getting into a smaller size of clothing. A teen gives up their reputation in order to fit in with their peers. A pastor applies pressure to his parishioners to do more “work for the Kingdom” so he won’t feel inadequate.

Missing the point as to where our wholeness comes from is what, in biblical terms, is called sin. Drawing from broken wells, worshiping false idols and building towers of Babel are still daily occurrences in this modern world.

What is the solution? It is the same as six thousand years ago. Standing before God with our ridiculous self coverings and asking simply for Him to dress us. God, in His graciousness, does just that and as we experience His clothing of righteousness, which is Christ, we are free to come out of the bushes and stand there, with mouths open wide and hands empty, celebrating true wholeness.

When we face our shame and embrace Christ’s covering, we can stand and exclaim like C.S. Lewis’ heavenly characters in The Great Divorce, “That’s what we all find when we reach this country. We’ve all been wrong! That’s the great joke. There’s no need to go on pretending one was right! After that we begin living.”

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Mathematics of Love

I was talking with a client the other day about the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus. Romans 8, tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God, nothing. Those words need to be as foundational to us as 2 plus 2 equals 4.

All of us have learned that simple math equation and wouldn’t for a moment begin to believe that 2+2=5. No matter the argument, we have come to believe the simple math of 2+2=4. You can get the math wrong, you can argue for another answer, you can say it’s not fair, but the truth remains – 2+2=4.

Many times as a student in high school I would set out to solve a complex math problem only to find that I had arrived at a wrong answer or solution. It was frustrating and is probably why I am not a mathematician today. But as I would work to get the correct answer, I would trace back throw my steps and find the missing error usually just a simple error of addition or subtraction.

But the simple error would lead to a major error in the outcome. So it is with life. Most of our major errors are the result of a simple error along the way. This may become apparent when the solutions are still simple or may not present themselves until you have worked out many years on a problem.

I have found in my own life and in the lives of many I have counseled that the troubles we are facing today are the results of a simple error of faith that began long ago and have compounded into disastrous results.

Let me give you an example, if the elementary equation of faith is “nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus,” what happens when we begin to work through life’s problems getting that fact wrong? What is the result of not believing that God has extravagant love for you in Jesus? You will begin to live your life as an orphan, someone who only has themselves to depend on for their well-being.

When all you have is your self to depend on, you begin to take matters into your own hands and try to save yourself. What does that look like? A young man or young lady is laboring under the belief that they are unloved. They have missed the point (which is the definition of sin) that God in Jesus loves them and they are panic stricken. “I am unloved, I am alone and I have to fix my life!” They go out desperately looking for love in all the wrong places and latch on to an unhealthy relationship and try to force a solution to their problem. They may even stay in an unhealthy dating relationship fearing that to break up will only leave them alone and unloved. “Better to stay in a bad relationship and have some love than to be on my own.”

But what happens if this young person starts with another equation, the truth. “God loves me and there isn’t anything that takes that love away, even being single. I will wait on the Lord and trust Him to direct my paths, even if I don’t understand the twists and turns on the journey, but I know that he has plans for me to bless me and prosper me.”

This person will not be panic stricken but rather have a peace that transcends the situation and will actually have the ability to make wise decisions out of health and wholeness instead of fear and insecurity.

When asked what the greatest theological truth was, Karl Barth, a theologian of the last century waited, thought and then after some time said, “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” Every single one of us is like a sheep that wanders away from the truth – Jesus loves me this I know and the result of that simple error of faith is disaster. If we do not have God to depend on, we have to save ourselves.

Growing up and living in the Bible belt it is easy to think of salvation only in terms of eternal destiny. Salvation is more than that. God wants us to trust in His salvation for our lives, of course, but also for our marriages, families, work, and trials. This doesn’t mean we sit back and wait for God to rescue us, it means we practice the discipline of waiting and listening to hear his voice in the midst of life’s fog and follow his voice. Sometimes we need to seek out godly counsel to sort out the errors of faith that are giving us distorted solutions. A trained counselor can often times see those areas of belief that are tripping you up and messing up your answers, much like your math teacher helped you sort through your homework and start again on a path to correct solutions.

Of course the best counselor we have is that of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said that when the Spirit came he would convict the world of sin, righteousness and judgment. Now don’t think that conviction here is like a judge convicting a criminal. Jesus didn’t come to condemn but to save. The conviction here is about convincing. The Spirit has come to convince us of these things. Jesus goes on to say, in regard to sin, because we have not believed in Him. The Holy Spirit comes to convince us that we don’t believe the fundamental truth that God so loves us that he sent his son, and to accept and work out of that equation. Secondly, in regards to righteousness, He says the Spirit will work to convince us He has gone to be with the Father. What does that have to do with righteousness? Isn’t he trying to get us to be righteous? No, He is trying to help us see that our righteousness is bound up in Jesus, not ourselves. Many of you reading this will finish your prayers with a simple affirmation of faith, “In Jesus name I pray.” What are you saying? You’re not giving the magic words or the spiritual “Woodchuck Hi Sign” to have your prayers escorted into the heavenly club. Whether you realize it or not you are affirming that right now, at this very moment Jesus is living in your name and on your behalf and what you cling to in your faith is his life and righteousness for you.

At this very moment in Heaven, it is though Jesus is sitting with the Father, loving Him with all his heart, soul, mind and strength and wearing a name a tag with your name on it. Saying in Mark’s name I love you father, in Susan’s name I love you, in Kate’s name I love. How are we confident that nothing can separate us from God’s love, because the Holy Spirit comes to convince us that the maintaining of that relationship is left up to Jesus not you. Abide in His love.
Finally, The Spirit has come to convince us about judgment. Not your judgment, but the “evil one’s”. The Spirit comes to us to convince us that Satan has been judged by Christ and exposed as a fake, a fraud and a liar. The Spirit wants to convince us to not give heed to his lies of not being loved, as being orphans and having to rescue ourselves.

It is when we start with the correct faith formula - Jesus loves me this I know - the problems of our life are solvable.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Turn to Knowing You

My friend Tom Edwards and I got together and wrote the following song. We had an incredible time and he is an amazing musician! He took our lyrics and brought it alive with his musical talents. Tom travels around playing for churches and events and leads the music at my church.

The song has to do with our wrong-headed understanding of God that we have acquired throughout the years and our crazy attempts to get God to draw near to us, all the while he is Emmanuel (which means "God is with us").

What we really need is to experience a transformation of our knowing God for who he really is.

At the bottom you can click a link and download the song performed by Tom. It will be on his upcoming CD. Enjoy!

Turn to Knowing You

How can I know you love me when I’ve forgotten you, you are love?
I’m anxious when I think I can’t, I can’t escape you. But you are love.
I cower like an orphan; You tell me I’m a son
No one’s ever told me this before.

Chorus:
If I live and move and breathe in only you
Then everything I know has led me further from the Truth.
Can I repent of all I’ve learned to keep me close to you; I’m feeling far away
I want to turn to knowing you.

How can I learn to seek your face when I am told you turned away? But you are love.
I’m withdrawing in my shame but I hear you softly say, that you are love.
I cower like an orphan; You embrace me as your son
No one’s ever shown me this before.

Chorus:
If I live and move and breathe in only you
Then everything I know has led me further from the Truth.
Can I repent of all I’ve learned to keep me close to you; I’m feeling far away
I want to turn to knowing you.

Everything I thought I was never lined up with your grace.
Now knowing you I find my true name
I am beloved
I’m Your Beloved

Chorus:
If I live and move and breathe in only you
Then everything I know has led me further from the Truth.
Can I repent of all I’ve learned to keep me close to you; I’m feeling far away
But You’re never far away.
I want to turn to knowing you.

Lyrics by Tom Edwards and Mark Simpson
Music by Tom Edwards
Copyright 2006

Click Here to Listen

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Things To Do at Wal-Mart While You Wait For Your Family To Shop.

  1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals.
  2. Make a trail of lemonade to the rest rooms.
  3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “I think we have a code 3 in housewares,” and see what happens.
  4. Put some M&M’s on lay away.
  5. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
  6. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
  7. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people leave me alone?”
  8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  9. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible.’
  10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  11. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
  12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
  13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”
  14. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud, “Hey we’re out of toilet paper in here!”

Responsible

For those of you who feel over responsible for how other people feel, here's a little mantra to memorize and repeat.

"I am not responsible for others' feelings. I am responsible for my actions before a righteous, loving God. If my actions are sinful, I will seek forgiveness from God first then I will apologize for my actions to the one I have offended. If my actions are not sinful, I will not take responsibility for their emotions or their actions."

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Prince's Wedding

I wrote this a while back and thought you might enjoy it. It is a little long for a blog, but I hope it is worth it.

Listen my friend and I will tell you the most amazing story ever told:


Far away in a land across the sea lived a King who had a fine son. His name was Prince Iisous. The King desired for his son a bride and a fair maiden by the name of Chara was betrothed to him while she was yet a child.

One day something terrible occurred and Chara disappeared and no one could find her, it was as though she had fallen into a terrible, black abyss, unreachable, lost. So the King sent his son into the kingdom to look for his bride. Prince Iisous searched throughout the kingdom and came to the dark part of town, the dirty dangerous streets where unspeakable things occurred.

Prince Iisous’ attention was drawn to a circle of angry people gathered around a woman. They were taunting the pour soul, hurling insults and hitting her. Having a full heart and a compassionate eye, Iisous stepped in to stop the woman from being abused. As he approached, he realized that this one that received the towns scorn, was his beloved Chara.

She immediately recognized Prince Iisous and full of shame ran from him, for she was sure he would be angry with her and reject her. With a determined heart he pursued her and finally found her hiding in the bushes along a pathway they had once walked together many years before. Prince Iisous reassured her and said, “My Chara, I will not be angry with you, please tell me your story.”

“When I was a child, playing in the King’s garden just below his castle,” Chara said, “an evil one approached me and told me horrible tales. He told me you didn’t love me and no longer wanted to share your life with me. He whispered to me you were angry with me and that I was ugly, worthless and no longer under the King’s protection.”

“I was scared,” she blurted out through tears “and angry with you. So with a broken heart I followed him, only to find out he had other plans for me.” Chara then told of how he kidnapped her, sold her into slavery and gave her over to a life of being used and abused.

As times became more difficult, Chara struggled to take care of herself and began trying to please men in the hopes they would like her and share with her money and food to survive on. Many years of hard living took their toll and she had found out she had contracted a deadly, incurable disease that was easily spread to others. The news of this only increased the scorn of the town people. In order to cope with her devastating pain, Chara took many powerful drugs that eventually controlled her and hurt her further. She was now in the final stages of their destructive rule.

Iisous was heart broken for how the years had been cruel to Chara, and spoke these words to her, “I still love you, my Chara! I always have. Nothing up high or down low, nothing from your past and nothing to come in our future will tear away my love for you. I am still going to marry you and I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

Some of the leaders in the kingdom were appalled at the news of their marriage and did everything in their power to stop their wedding, yet Prince Iisous was even more determined to love his precious Chara. When some of his friends realized he was not changing his mind, they pleaded with him to follow through with the wedding but for health reasons not to sleep with her. The Prince would hear nothing of it; he loved Chara and said, “I would rather die than not be completely hers.”

The wedding occurred and it was a small ceremony. Iisous arranged it that way, for he knew she was still ashamed and embarrassed. Some guests did show for the wedding and although the King was unable to attend, he sent his announcers and musicians and gave his son his full blessing, “I am well pleased with you, my son; I can’t wait to see my new daughter.”

The King’s servants invited some of the bride’s town people to the wedding; they were commoners who worked out in the fields, the kind you wouldn’t expect at an occasion like this. They were instructed to go share the news of the great wedding with whomever they saw. It was a simple but lovely ceremony, there were even a few presents given.

It was now time for the honeymoon, just a short one, only three days and then it was off to the castle to be welcomed by the King with a grand reception. Everyone wondered how this diseased, tattered and stained bride could enter into the King’s courts.

“She will spread the disease to the King!” some murmured.

“The King’s courts will be polluted!” still others screamed.

“How terrible, it’s not the King’s way!” even more scoffed.

No one heard from the bride and groom for the three days and most just went back to their old routines, trying to forget all that had transpired. Some were scared that this was the end, “He’s going to sleep with her, you know. He’s as good as dead when he contracts that horrible disease. It’s all over now. The kingdom will never be the same.”

But on the third day there were some amazing things that happened. Prince Iisous and the Princess Chara came back through town in an amazing display of splendor. And the most astonishing thing of all was that Princess Chara had been transformed! She was radiant, beautiful, and almost unrecognizable. Gone were her stains and wrinkles and flaws. She was adorned in a gown that shown brilliantly white, whiter than the whitest snow! Some of her scars were still there but they were now somehow beautiful.

Prince Iisous was full of excitement and told his friends this fantastic story, it’s still almost too hard to believe! “On our wedding night when we entered into the marriage chambers,” he said, “we found that it was a cold, dark and somewhat unnerving place. We were all alone because all of our friends had left us. We held on tight to each other and there in that dark place our love for each other was fulfilled and we experienced the full love of being man and wife.”

“When we awoke the next morning the most wonderful thing had occurred, Chara was healed from her disease! It was gone! I hadn’t received Chara’s disease; Chara had received my wholeness!”

Some didn’t know what to make of it; others ran throughout town drunk with excitement telling everyone of the great news, and still others not believing what was before them set out to discredit Prince Iisous and his story.

After they had visited for a while with their close friends, Prince Iisous and Princess Chara left for the King’s castle and I wish I could tell you what happened but the details are still sketchy. There are just some rumors that have been leaked by those who know Prince Iisous. The King’s Herald did release the official wedding book and many other books have been written attempting to explain what all this means. As for me, I like to hold on to what is said in official wedding book, listen:

“And you also were included in the Prince’s wedding when you heard the true story, the good news of your wedding. Now having believed, I give you the King’s seal that guarantees your entry into the castle.”

Friday, September 15, 2006

The Magical Cup

Imagine with me an experience. You are at a fine restaurant and the waiter pours you a glass of the finest wine the vine has ever produced. You take a sip of the wine and immediately you know that this is no ordinary wine. This is the most extraordinary wine that has ever reached the lips of a human being (OK all you Baptists – bear with me).

As you take in the bouquet and savor the dancing flavors in your mouth, you exclaim to your dinner guest and the head waiter. “This is the most amazing experience! I can’t believe it! I have never known a cup to make wine taste so good! I must have this magical cup… I will never drink from another cup again… all I drink from now on will come from this cup.”

You can imagine the confusion that ensues. Your dinner guest would think you had lost your marbles or were having a reaction to the wine and the waiter would probably be offended.

“How absurd, the glass didn’t create that wine!”

If you continued in your delusion, in short order or after a few more rounds of Mad Dog 20/20, you would be cursing the glass. “What’s wrong with this cup? It is no longer giving me the great experience. How unfair! Fraud!” SMASH … as the glass is frustratingly broken against the wall.

What’s wrong with this picture? How obvious, the glass is not the source of the glory – just a vessel. None of us would make such a crazy conclusion. Or would we?

In the first chapter of John, the Scriptures tells us that in Jesus is life and that that life is what turns us all on. The true life, the source of all life and all joy comes from a person – Jesus.

It is Jesus that is sharing his life with us and he is doing so through many different vessels. He shares his life in baseball, sunsets, gurgling babies and songs that make your hips wiggle. Win/Win business deals that pump you up and dates that make your heart race are glasses into which he pours the fine wine of his life.

Everyday in millions of ways, Jesus is pouring his life into us and as the Apostle Paul said – “In him we live and move and have our being.”

What’s our problem? We don’t see, we are blind or we are mistaken and turn the vessels into idols and worship them instead of celebrating their unique and beautiful ways in which they participate in the grace of God.

In our attempts to control the glory and make the magical cups work, we pervert the gifts and empty them of their glory and hurt others and ourselves in the process.

Drink deeply from the vessels Jesus is sharing himself through. Celebrate their unique expression of his glory and give thanks to the sharing Christ who serves us his best!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Kindness Leads to Metanoia

I was sixteen years old and on a church youth trip in Gatlinburg, TN. Oh, the expectations! At that time in my life, I had slipped into a pattern of poor choices and a not-so-hot peer group. I was looking forward to the post-Christmas trip, but for all the wrong reasons.

I forget the girl's name but she was bringing the booze from her father's liquor cabinet and we were going to find some time to party. A couple days into the trip, I tried out the hooch on a stroll along gaudy shop alley and found myself inebriated and shopping for cassette tapes in a record store.

My friend Shane whispered, "Here, put this in your pocket." Eagles Greatest Hits (the one with the silver cow skull on it) was soon making its way to the door hidden in my jacket pocket.

Blaring sirens are all I heard and I took off! I was out of there lickity-split and had already found a place to drop the hot goods. But they caught Shane!

My life of crime was short lived. Shane was doing his best to cover - "I don't know who he was but he had two hands!" (Note to self - criminals need to be inconspicuous)

My conscience, fear and now sobriety had rushed back and I turned myself in. My youth minister bailed me out and the fast-spreading wild fire of "Mark got caught shoplifting" had now reached the 200 other youths on the winter trip to Gatlinburg.

I was humiliated! My parents were mortified and shocked and I was in hot water! Time passed and I came out of solidarity confinement and life returned to normal.

Then....

Six months later I received a letter from my pastor. I had been at a piano recital and he had been there, too.

"Dear Mark" it read. "It was good to see you at Gayle Toland's house. You are growing into a handsome, young man. Mrs. Rogers and I discussed you on the way home and we remember how you were in her new members' class. I want you to know that God has big plans for you and has his hand on your life. Always remember - God is good. Jesus is wonderful. Your pastor - Adrian Rogers"

A simple kind letter - one that meant something to a 16 year old boy that today, approaching 41, I still have in my possession. That letter gave me hope and a sense of acceptance and grace. It began the process of transforming my heart and mind and gave me a whole new outlook on me and God. That's metanoia! The English equivalent is repentance.

Why use "metanoia"? Because most of us think repentance is all about behavior change when in reality it is a mind (deep knowing) change that results in a behavior change.

I didn't need to change my behavior. I couldn't! Why do you think I was drinking and thrill seeking? I had given up trying to be good and please God because His unrelenting standard was wearing me out. "I quit God! I'll get back to you when I can do this for real."

In my failure however, I found kindness not condemnation. In my failure I found grace. In my failure I found out that who I was wasn't determined by what I did - my actions were just a reflection of what I believed about myself and God. In my failure I came to learn that God was saying "quit trying to impress me and just let me love you."

Kindness started a transformation in me of which I am grateful.

Who can you extend kindness to that needs their paradigms blown? Practice radical love and acceptance.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Another Lesson From a Missing Left Hand - Scary Blisters!

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I lost my left hand when I was nine years old while playing Tarzan in the back yard. From that experience, I have learned many valuable lessons. Here's another one:

Not long after I lost my hand, as my arm was beginning to heal, I began to develop some pretty ugly blisters on the end of my stump. They were painful and gross. My parents and I didn't really know what to do with it, so we just kept the dressings on my arm clean and I regularly soaked in a hot bath.

One evening as I was bathing, one of those blisters opened up. What happened? A bone splinter began to work its way out of my arm - GROSS! Needless to say, at nine years old I was freaking out! My parents were concerned and it wasn't long before the doctor was called.

"Mark's body is healing." the doctor said. What? Healing? I have pieces of bone coming out of the end of my arm! Can't you make this stop!

When my hand was amputated, the place where the bone was cut left frayed areas, much like what happens when you saw a 2x4 in half. Those areas had worked their way lose and were now working their way out.

The doctor explained that my body was actually healing and that over the next several weeks I would have similar experiences but it would eventually stop. He was right! It did happen several more times and it did stop.

So what's the lesson from a missing left hand?

The stuff that we have kept buried deep in us, at times tries to work its way out. It is usually scary and gross and all we want to do is stop it. Many times were are successful at stuffing it back down. That success at stuffing isn't success at life, though!

The stuff is surfacing for a reason. I think most of the time God is trying to free us of unnecessary junk, memories, wounds and pain. It is never pleasant. It always hurts, but it almost always passes.

Sometimes we need assistance getting the stuff out. Other times we just need encouragement that we aren't sick but getting well.

Instead of trying to stuff the stuff that is working its way out in your life, scary blisters and all, open yourself up to the healing process of opening up, airing out and removing the painful stuff of your past. You will be better for it!

Let me know if I can help.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

If it works it happens again!

Have you ever been frustrated by the repetitive misbehavior of another person in your life? They just keep on doing something over and over and they are just about on your last nerve.

Your child begs for something at Walmart every time you're there. Your teen argues with you most weekend nights about the curfew. Your spouse doesn't pick up after themselves or your boss keeps dropping things on your desk at the last minute.

This is the stuff life is made of. People pressing to get their own way at your expense. Well if you want it to stop, you have to first look at yourself.

Any behavior that keeps happening has some kind of pay-off to it. In many cases, you are contributing to that pay-off.

Your child that begs - you sometimes give in and let them have the candy instead of experiencing an embarrassing meltdown in the checkout line.

Your teen that begs for a later curfew for "just this weekend" sometimes hits pay dirt and gets that 60 extra minutes for just 15 minutes of wearing you down with their adolescent-everybody's-doing-it-logic.

Your spouse leaves their underwear on the floor because you eventually pick it up (with a few snide remarks that go in one ear and out the other).

Your boss can always count on you to cancel or rearrange your plans to cover for his chaotic leadership style and in the end he looks like the hero.

If it works it happens again!

If you can isolate your contribution to the dance and remove the benefit from your end, the behavior will eventually end.

Let your child throw a temper tantrum. Stare at your teen like a cow staring at a new gate and don't give in. Leave your husband's underwear on the floor and let him wash those undies. Politely let your boss know you will have to leave on time today and will gladly get to it in the morning.

Some of you will be unwilling to change your part in the pay-off dance. If so, don't complain - you are teaching them how to treat you.

Those of you that do remove your part of the pay-off will experience a much needed rest and an improved mood. Enjoy!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Crazy Days!

This is one of those crazy days that blogging is just not going to fit into the schedule. I will make it up to you tomorrow with a good blog entry.

One little piece of food for thought.

Life is about education not probation. Let your mistakes teach you, not condemn you. Through the successive steps of failing forward you will find what you need if you don't give up.

More later!

Friday, September 08, 2006

You want to borrow what?

I see so many people that are struggling withy trust issues. I don't trust my husband... I don't trust my wife... I don't trust - I don't trust - I don't trust!

Trust is a tricky thing and so much is at stake. But so many times we fail to realize just what exactly trust is.

Trust is like a loan. When you trust someone, especially in a love relationship, you are allowing them to borrow your heart (or a part of it) in the hopes that you will receive a return WITH interest.

It is no wonder that so much anxiety is present around trust issues. Many lendors have given their entire emotional nest egg to a lendee who has not had the time to prove they are credit worthy. Ironically, usually it is the ones who have had several defaults on their heart that are the quickest to loan out their emotional stash.

Why is that? They are probably trying to regain what was lost and risky investments hold out the promise of the greatest returns. These risky loans are just that - risky. The odds are greater that you would lose than get that high return of interest.

So how do you approach lending your trust? Here are a few ideas:

1. Realize that your lending institution is insured by FSSIC (Father, Son, Spirit Insurance Corporation). Your ultimate security rests in knowing that when you are defaulted on, in time your wholeness will be restored by God. God does strongly request you to do a thorough audit to determine just how you contributed to the default - but that's another matter.

2. Don't send collection notices before the payment is late. Many people who have been defaulted on in the past will scurry around investigating their borrower and send them threratening notices IF they think the other is going to be late or default. This only frustrates the borrower and they begin to think how they can refinance with another, more friendly lender.

3. Sometimes it is best to decline a loan of your heart. Some people just aren't credit worthy when it comes to your emotional investment. Don't be afraid to turn away business when it is pretty likely you won't have a good customer.

4. Call the note due or foreclose! Finally, there are times when no matter how hard you have tried to work out payment arrangements, you just have to send it into foreclosure. Stop the bleeding, cut your losses, get what you can and move on. Sadly, that sometimes has to happen.

There is more to say and we will revisit the subject later.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

When in doubt...

I don't know about you, but there are times in a relationship that things get really confusing. You want to do good but instead end up acting selfishly. You need to set some healthy limits, but instead over-functioning becomes the course du jour.

What do you do?

Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit to one another out of reverence to God. What in the world does that mean? Submission seems to get such a bad rap and understandably so. A big reason is that men have used submission as a whip to get their wives to do what they want them to do. This is oftentimes sanctioned and promoted from the pulpit.

Interestingly, the verse calls husbands and wives to submit to each other. When was the last time you heard a sermon on "Husbands submit to your wives!"?

What is submission? I think the best definition is this:

Extending yourself in the best interest of another.

In other words, doing what is BEST for another. Giving in to your toddler's temper tantrum is not in their best interest. So when you say "No!" and don't give them the M&M's in the Walmart checkout line - you are submitting to them.

Likewise, when you don't give in to your mate's temper tantrum threats - you are submitting to them. It's not in their best interest to develop the habit of winning through intimidation.

So when you find yourself in a confusing situation and don't know what to do - do what is in the other's best interest. Don't miss this! I didn't say - do what makes someone else happy! Do what is in their best interest. (Lord, give me discernment!)

So - when in doubt, do what is in the other's best interest.

Imagine what the world would look like if we ALL lived that out!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I Should Have...

Do you ever find yourself saying, "I should've known that. I should've done that. I should've been there."?

If you are like most people, when you stop to listen to your internal dialog you will find that you are "shoulding" on yourself a whole lot. But is that really a problem?

I think "shoulding" on yourself is a big problem. Why? Because the net result is that you are telling yourself you are flawed. If you drop the "ould" off the should and replace it with "ame" you have SHAME.

Now, healthy shame is what keeps our clothes on in public and reminds us that we have limits and boundaries that we must stay within to be healthy. However, unhealthy shame is that sense that we are flawed and coming up short if we aren't all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present - in other words, God.

Notice when you "should" yourself next time. Do you feel good about yourself or flawed and bad?

In the Garden of Eden, the serpent told Adam and Eve they SHOULD be like God. They bought the lie and bit the fruit in a frantic effort to avoid being flawed and limited. What did it produce? More shame and more limitations. What a mess!

So what do you do about the "shoulds"?

First of all, accept that you aren't God and weren't created to be God. You have limits! There are times that you won't know, won't be able to change things, you won't be able to attend an event or be there for someone. You aren't flawed - just limited!

Secondly, do a "fast switch" of words. Huh? Switch the word "should" with "wish" and try it on and see if it fits.

Replace "I should've gone to that party." with "I wish I had gone to that party." Does it fit? If so, allow yourself to experience the disappointment of missing out on something that would have been nice. If it doesn't fit, release it as false guilt and shame and say, "No, I really didn't want to go to that party - that's why I didn't go."

Try to stop beating up on yourself with the "shoulds" and accept that you are not God.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

You Will Become in 5 Years...

Associations are powerful! They are powerful because they are subtle. Most of us would never let someone yank us off course. But let someone nudge us a tiny bit and over time the compounding affect of the little nudges can have us so far off course that we wonder how in the world we ever got to where we are.

I've heard it said that in five years you will become the combined average of the five people you associate most with. Wild, huh?

Look around at your life and take inventory of the five people you spend the most time with. Are you OK with becoming the combined average of those people? Continue the association and you will!

Some associations you need to run from - get the Dodge out of heck!

Some associations you need to limit - it's OK to spend two hours with some folks but not two days.

Some associations you need to add - you may need to expand your circle and get in with a healthier or more challenging crowd.

Associations are powerful! What do yours have you becoming?

Friday, September 01, 2006

A Sentence That Changed My Life...

It's amazing how a sentence spoken at the right time can absolutely change your life. A client of mine passed the GED and her teacher said, "You are smart! I hope you're planning on going to college." She never thought of herself as smart, but that one sentence stuck and she did go to college. It all started with a sentence!

A sentence that changed my life was spoken by my friend Baxter. He said:

"The gospel is the good news of what became of Jesus and what became of us IN HIM."

That simple sentence has captivated my heart and imagination for more than a decade now and it has changed my life.

I used to think the gospel was more a really good offer than really good news. I always thought that it was a declaration of a possibility IF I had sincere faith, not a declaration of a reality that a very sincere Savior had done all that was needed to be done.

Yes, I did hear something about the finished work of Jesus, but I was always led to think I had to do something to put the finishing touches on it.

The summons of faith in the New Testament scriptures is a call to "believe" not "become". To trust not strive.

What became of Jesus? He lived! He died! He rose again! He ascended to the right-hand seat of the Father! He was accepted there!

What became of us IN HIM? We lived! We died! We rose again! We ascended to the right-hand seat of the Father! We were accepted there! (And are to this day!)

"At one time you all had your backs turned to God, thinking rebellious thoughts of him, giving him trouble every chance you got. But now, by giving himself completely at the Cross, actually dying for you, Christ brought you over to God's side and put your lives together, whole and holy in his presence. You don't walk away from a gift like that! You stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned in to the Message, careful not to be distracted or diverted. There is no other Message - just this one. Every creature under heaven gets this same Message. I, Paul, am a messenger of this Message.

"God wanted everyone, not just Jews, to know this rich and glorious secret inside and out, regardless of their background, regardless of their religious standing. The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you, therefore you can look forward to sharing in God's glory. It's that simple. That is the substance of our Message. "

Colossians 1:21-23; 27


Take some time and really reflect on the implications of that one simple sentence!