Kindness Leads to Metanoia

I was sixteen years old and on a church youth trip in Gatlinburg, TN. Oh, the expectations! At that time in my life, I had slipped into a pattern of poor choices and a not-so-hot peer group. I was looking forward to the post-Christmas trip, but for all the wrong reasons.

I forget the girl's name but she was bringing the booze from her father's liquor cabinet and we were going to find some time to party. A couple days into the trip, I tried out the hooch on a stroll along gaudy shop alley and found myself inebriated and shopping for cassette tapes in a record store.

My friend Shane whispered, "Here, put this in your pocket." Eagles Greatest Hits (the one with the silver cow skull on it) was soon making its way to the door hidden in my jacket pocket.

Blaring sirens are all I heard and I took off! I was out of there lickity-split and had already found a place to drop the hot goods. But they caught Shane!

My life of crime was short lived. Shane was doing his best to cover - "I don't know who he was but he had two hands!" (Note to self - criminals need to be inconspicuous)

My conscience, fear and now sobriety had rushed back and I turned myself in. My youth minister bailed me out and the fast-spreading wild fire of "Mark got caught shoplifting" had now reached the 200 other youths on the winter trip to Gatlinburg.

I was humiliated! My parents were mortified and shocked and I was in hot water! Time passed and I came out of solidarity confinement and life returned to normal.

Then....

Six months later I received a letter from my pastor. I had been at a piano recital and he had been there, too.

"Dear Mark" it read. "It was good to see you at Gayle Toland's house. You are growing into a handsome, young man. Mrs. Rogers and I discussed you on the way home and we remember how you were in her new members' class. I want you to know that God has big plans for you and has his hand on your life. Always remember - God is good. Jesus is wonderful. Your pastor - Adrian Rogers"

A simple kind letter - one that meant something to a 16 year old boy that today, approaching 41, I still have in my possession. That letter gave me hope and a sense of acceptance and grace. It began the process of transforming my heart and mind and gave me a whole new outlook on me and God. That's metanoia! The English equivalent is repentance.

Why use "metanoia"? Because most of us think repentance is all about behavior change when in reality it is a mind (deep knowing) change that results in a behavior change.

I didn't need to change my behavior. I couldn't! Why do you think I was drinking and thrill seeking? I had given up trying to be good and please God because His unrelenting standard was wearing me out. "I quit God! I'll get back to you when I can do this for real."

In my failure however, I found kindness not condemnation. In my failure I found grace. In my failure I found out that who I was wasn't determined by what I did - my actions were just a reflection of what I believed about myself and God. In my failure I came to learn that God was saying "quit trying to impress me and just let me love you."

Kindness started a transformation in me of which I am grateful.

Who can you extend kindness to that needs their paradigms blown? Practice radical love and acceptance.